I had all of these grandiose plans to write a fantastic blog today but yet here I sit, a few minutes before I am due home to take care of my kids and I have managed to put it off. The issue is not that I don't have anything I want to say, it's that I have too much I want to say. This is how I get sometimes. My anxiety gets high at certain times and I get easily overwhelmed. I don't sleep well . I am crabbier. It's like my brain starts working on overdrive and I want to do everything and nothing all at once. Decisiveness is illusive and the checklist in my head gets increasingly longer. You can imagine that this would be frustrating right? I know it will pass and I believe this is mostly hormonally driven, but frustrating nonetheless.
Just to give you an idea of what my mind is like, here is a list of the things in my head over the past few days:
1. Cleaning for upcoming party at our house--this is a broad category that entails many detailed projects I think I MUST have done before Sunday.
2. Finishing numerous sewing projects--though there will always be more I want to do so I shall never be satisfied.
3. Ideas for blog posts ranging from the continuing inequality of woman to the annoying girl at the Bread Garden to my obsessive compulsive tendencies to parenting to birth order to friendships to mistakes I have made to my likes and dislikes about myself to my sibling and on and on...
4. Thinking about how my issues impact my relationships, now and in the past
5. It's been too long since I've seen my therapist. lol!
6. Always struggling to be a better parent.
7. An on-going list of tasks I feel I must complete to feel like a competent human being
8. The need to be more positive because people don't like negative people but then arguing with myself that positivity is sometimes just a mask of what lies underneath and so isn't it better to be honest but then shouldn't I be expressing more gratitude for what I do have and on and on.
9. If this blog is worth while.
That is just a sampling. Oh lord--I better refer to #5.
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